There’s a quote by Elizabeth Edwards that I often reflect on that reads, “Resilience is accepting your new reality even if it’s less good than the one you had before.” The idea of acceptance is often misunderstood. Acceptance doesn’t mean ‘just get over it’, that you agree with it, or even that you like it. It’s about acknowledging the reality of your current circumstances instead of fighting and resisting, which is usually unhelpful. Once you accept a thing, you’re in a better position to cope and see a clearer path to improving the circumstances of your reality.
This idea came to me late last night as I accepted the fact that my Christmas packages were not going to arrive before Christmas. Instead, of constantly checking tracking numbers, emailing business owners, and wasting needed energy over fretting, I simply accepted the fact the postal service and other delivery services are overwhelmed and undersupported. This acceptance allowed me to see things a bit more clearly also as I realized my gifts will not lose their value if someone opens them on Dec 28th vs Dec 25th.
If it’s truly the thought that counts then that thought doesn’t disappear after Christmas Day. This took such a weight off my shoulders that I didn’t even realize I was carrying. I informed a few people that their gifts were probably not going to get here until after the holidays and you know what happened–nothing. They didn’t care. They were just happy that they had even made my list lol. Me accepting the reality of late deliveries doesn’t mean I’m happy about it, but I was able to have a little compassion towards the postal workers, delivery drivers, and small business owners who are probably going through it right now. I also realized that I was making the situation a bigger problem in my head than it was in real life.
This is just one example of how acceptance can lead to a place of comfort and reduce anxiety. Again, acceptance is not synonymous with complacency or giving up. I’m still annoyed that my packages haven’t arrived. Acceptance helped me redirect my energy and focus on things that were in my control, the things that could actually help me navigate my current reality.
My hope for everyone reading this is to become more comfortable accepting the realities that are less good than the ones they had before, and that acceptance provides some ease in the midst of struggle.