Not in the holiday spirit? Join the club. As with most things, you are not alone. The holidays can occur simultaneously with feelings of grief, loss, and the exacerbation of financial stress. Sometimes, the pressure of being in the holiday spirit is because you are trying to force yourself to be in a mood that is not authentic to how you are feeling in the moment.
What would happen if you allowed yourself to just be without feeling like you need to be merry and festive? Give yourself time to define what it means to be in the holiday spirit and lean in towards that. Maybe the holiday season for you is about solitude (not isolation) and reflection. Maybe it’s about traveling away from home and pretending like it’s just another day. There is no one way to get through the holidays.
The key is to make it work for you.
This can be difficult when you have a family to consider because you may be experiencing guilt and fear around ruining the holidays for your loved ones. Instead, bring them in on the plans for a redefined holiday season. Instead of stressing yourself out with last-minute gifts, gather the family together to volunteer during the holiday season. This could become a regular activity for the family. Do you have a partner or friends who can step in if you are not able to keep up with all of the responsibilities and tasks this season brings—can someone else drop the kids off to play rehearsal? Can you skip volunteering to bake cookies for the class party this year? If you haven’t noticed yet, the theme here is to be patient with yourself and acknowledge your limitations.
- Avoid numbing your feelings with drugs and alcohol
- Be open to starting new traditions if the old ones aren’t working for you anymore
- Schedule your tasks (i.e. shopping, cooking) and include some downtime so that you can catch your breath
- Do not allow external pressure to make you go into debt by buying presents and decorations. Set a budget that works for you and stick with it
- Do what you can without judgment or guilt.